


Love Me True

by Hedwig_Dordt



Category: British Actor RPF, The Witcher (TV) RPF
Genre: Fake Dating, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Obliviousness, joey batey is bad at social media, netflix made them do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 14:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23071387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hedwig_Dordt/pseuds/Hedwig_Dordt
Summary: Henry Cavill agrees to publicly date his co-star Joey Batey. It's fine, really. They have to be seen in public for a bit, and be cute on social media. It's fine. He's been suppressing his crush on Joey for a long time now - and it's not as if Joey is interested in being more than friends, right?
Relationships: Henry Cavill & Jason Momoa, Joey Batey & Madeleine Hyland, Joey Batey/Henry Cavill
Comments: 51
Kudos: 187





	Love Me True

**Author's Note:**

> Mandatory disclaimers: I don’t actually know these people, any resemblance to reality is mostly coincidental, i know nothing about the sexual and/or romantic orientation of the people involved. If you found this by searching yourself, or looking for something to tease your bandmate with, please backspace NOW. This is not for you. It is for me, and like five other friends who didn’t know they wanted Henry Cavill in eyeliner before this, okay? Good.
> 
> I heartily recommend any and all books by Charles Stross and Jasper Fforde (two British authors who recognise that women are human beings with rich inner lives.). Susanna Clarke’s Piranesi is slated for release in September 2020, so I got Joey an advance copy, mostly because I love Norrell & Strange. The Windmill Brixton is a real place that I’ve never been, but their site looks neat - so there. 
> 
> My profound gratitude to Fightyourdragon, Bookhunter, and Maltypass for cheerleading, britpicking, nitpicking, and generally holding my hand through writing this monster. Any remaining flaws are mine.

_ Prologue: december 2019 London premiere _

Henry looks around - where is Joey? He’d seen him before entering the venue, they’d hugged. Joey had been a bit anxious - he isn’t great with crowds, Henry had discovered. Now that they’ve all piled back inside, Joey has gone missing. Eventually, he finds Joey playing the piano in a small room. Henry stands still in the door opening, he desperately wants to touch Joey, run his fingers through his hair, hold him until the tension that is written in the lines of his body dissipates, to kiss him until he is the only thing left in Joey’s world. But he has no right to do that, so he quietly waits for Joey to notice him. And eventually, after minutes that feel like hours, Joey turns around. 

“How long were you standing there?”

Henry shrugs. “Are you ready to face the masses again?” 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Joey replies. He still looks a bit wan, Henry thinks. And then he realises he can absolutely not ask Joey to kiss him any time soon. He needs a friend by his side right now, and a friend he will have. 

_ July 2020 _

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Henry says. “I’m not grooming Freya just because we smile at each other while promoting a show we both worked on. She’s just turned eighteen, I’m technically old enough to be her father for crying out loud! She’s like a sister!”

“You’d be surprised,” Dani, his agent, sighs on the other end of the line. “And the rumours are reaching Netflix. If you want to keep making season 3, we need to kill this story definitively.” 

“So what are we doing?”

“Okay, hear me out. Would you consider publicly dating another cast member for a while?” 

Henry frowns. “Maybe? Who are you thinking?” Mentally, he goes over the options: Anya is not that much older than Freya, but it would bring the Geralt/Yennefer dynamic out in a way that journalists could latch on to. Emma has a boyfriend. Maybe one of the minor characters? 

“How would you feel about being seen with a man?” his agent Dani asks carefully. 

“Look, we agreed _ years ago _ the best way to market me is as a man’s man. The fact that I’m sometimes attracted to men is a fact about my personal life _ that we agreed to keep out of the picture _. I’m happy with the kind of work I’m getting, and so are you.” ‘Because we both make good money out of it’ hangs between them unspoken.

“Yes. I’ll admit it’s not perfect, but it could work. Market has changed for a bit, we could work the ‘no labels, no comment’ angle for a while.”

It hits him. “You’re thinking of Joey Batey, aren’t you?” It would make some sense: they get along famously, their characters get shipped already. “Isn’t Joey with that music lady of his?” He asks, though he knows Joey is not. He has pried a little into Joey’s personal preferences, and though he hadn’t gotten very far he knows Joey isn’t dating Madeleine.

Dani sounds relieved he brought it up himself. “Yes, actually. Everyone and their mother knows that you get along well with Joey.” Henry hums noncommittally. “Are you worried about Joey’s response?” Dani asks. 

“A little,” Henry says, which is true, in a way. 

“So if he’s okay with it, you’ll do it?”

He frowns, considering everything. “Four months, and no more than six,” he offers, “and then an amicable break-up and I will try to salvage our friendship from whatever mess this might create.” 

His agent hums, clearly taking it into consideration and says she’ll call him back. Henry goes to the kitchen for a beer but catches himself. He needs to run, so he changes and puts on his shoes. 

He pushes himself harder than his training schedule ordered, he needs to ache with something other than his heart. _ Why does it have to be Joey? _As he runs through the city, he goes over various scenarios, trying to work out if he even wants Joey to accept the proposition.

He comes home, drinks a bottle of water and heads into the shower. When he comes out, he has missed a call - Dani. His heart is beating in his throat when he calls her back. 

“And?” he asks, skipping all social niceties. 

“He said yes.” 

“Okay,” Henry says, and lets out a sigh of - well, not relief, not exactly. 

“His agent reported he also had some particularly harsh words for the weird social pressures on young women,” Dani continues. Henry huffs with amusement, it fits what he knows about Joey. “So, all we need is a few cute comments on each other’s official instas - you’ve been doing that pretty organically so far but we can handle that - and a few public sightings. You like the guy well enough, right? ” 

Henry groans, burying his head in his hands - he hadn’t minded supporting a friend but turning it into strategy feels wrong somehow. 

“Just, go for - well, not pizza obviously, but sushi or something? Then a press release demanding respect for your privacy,” she rattles on. Then she seems to notice Henry’s silence. “Wait, are you okay?”

“Yes. No. I’ll deal.”

He can hear the coin dropping on the other end of the line. “Oh. Oh Henry, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have... God. Should I have him called back? I’m sure we can fix this.”

It’s tempting to go back to his original plan, to pine for a bit and then get over it. But Joey has agreed to do this to help their show, Freya, and even himself. So he will have to bite the bullet. 

“No, don’t call him back. The plan sounds good. I’ll call him myself to schedule a few things. Could you send me a list?”

“Already in your mail.” It’s confirmed by a soft ding from another device in the room. 

“Thanks.” 

He hangs up and immediately calls Joey before he can lose his nerve. 

“Hey, so you heard?” Joey says as he picks up. 

“Yes. I’m sorry you have to do this.”

“No worries,” Joey says, “we’re professionals right?” 

“Yes, professionals. So. Can we talk it over with dinner?”

“Feed me and I’m yours,” Joey says cheerfully, “some time next week?” 

And so Henry ends up scheduling the fantasy dinner date with his crush of months. 

Henry had a plan. His first plan was to try and date Joey properly, in the lull between the premiere and the start of shooting for season two. They would date quietly at first and then maybe publicly. He’d come so close to asking, but then at the London premiere seeing Joey so overwhelmed had him swallow the words he’d been rehearsing for weeks and just be a good friend and offer support. The new plan was to allow himself three days to wallow, and then he was going to put his focus somewhere else so that when they would start again in February, he could be just a friend with a somewhat overdeveloped appreciation for his friend’s talents. And appearance. But now, he needs advice from the only man he’ll take relationship advice from: Jason Momoa. Jason and Lisa are the kind of love he wishes for. So, with a beer in hand, he texts their code: “TZC” time zone check to see if Jason is awake. 

_ You know the internet will have a conniption if it ever comes to light we effectively text ‘u up’ to each other _the reply comes.

_ Skype? _

_ Gimme a minute _

Within a few moments, Jason calls him. “Aloha brother. How are you?” 

“Great. I’d ask how the weather is, but I’m not sure I want to hear it.” Henry says. 

“You know you’re welcome to come over.” 

“Thanks. The missus okay?”

“Light of my life. Happy to have me home for a bit.” Jason looks at him intently through the screen. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. No. Sort of.”

“That’s three different answers,” Jason points out.

“So you can count to three, well done you,” Henry teases. He hesitates for a moment before settling on a question. “When did you know Lisa was the one for you?”

Jason thinks for a moment before answering. “When I met her, really. I know I must have told you this - she basically swept me off my feet. What’s bringing this on? Wait - Henry, who is the lucky lady?”

“About that.” Henry starts. 

“Lucky man?” Jason tries, only a little surprised.

“Joey Batey. He plays -.”

“The bard?” Jason grins, “Nice. He’s pretty good.”

“He is amazing.”

“Beautiful eyes,” Jason says approvingly. “Thank you for trusting me with this,” he adds with a serious expression. “Who knows? Does he know?”

“No, he doesn’t. And there’s a complication.” Jason nods, inviting an explanation. “He agreed to pretend-date me for a few months to get the press of my back over the mad idea I’m grooming Freya. Freya Allen, she plays Ciri?” 

“Christ - sorry to hear that about Freya. She seems like a nice kid.”

“She is.” Henry confirms. “And she’s great. But also just eighteen and just. No.”

“Well, the good news is: you have a few months to convince your bard not to break up with you for real,” Jason says as if he’s being reasonable.

“Yes, because as you remember, I have managed to start no relationships in the years we’ve known each other, let alone keep one beyond three months.” Henry says. “I have no idea what to do here.”

“You want advice?”

“Yes!” It comes out a little more forceful than intended. 

Jason nods, clearly taking his time to think things through. “What do you want out of this relationship?” 

“What do you mean?”

“What would you like your relationship to look like?”

He considers that for a moment. “You know what? I’ve got nothing. Just, you know, having someone by your side, I guess?” Jason nods encouragingly. “The whole, _ in good and bad times, in sickness and in health _ bit.”

“Maybe don’t start with the wedding vows,” Jason grins, “but at least you’re not looking for a housekeeper-therapist-sex worker, so there’s hope for you yet.”

“You have such high hopes for me.” He smiles, and for the first time in weeks, he feels a bit better about the whole situation. 

“You’re already friends, sort of, right?” Henry nods. “You need to deepen the connection you have. Make it absolutely clear to him that there’s more on the table if he wants it.”

Henry hums. “I’ll try.” He says after a moment. “Thanks.”

“Anything, brother.”

“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done for a job?” Joey asks Madeleine. 

“What did you do?” Madeleine squints at him.

“I resent the insinuation that it’s somehow something I did. Also, I need a lot more wine for this conversation.”

Madeleine pours him another glass and hands it to him. “‘Fess up, bard boy.”

“One day that will stop being funny to you too.” He takes a big gulp. 

“Today is not that day - so spill, what happened?”

“I’m going to publicly date Henry Cavill for a few months.”

Madeleine puts down her glass. “You’re dating Henry Cavill and you’re only telling me now?”

“No, not like that! We’re going to look like we’re dating, and then amiably fake-break up our fake relationship. Apparently, people don’t really understand that Freya is like a baby sister to him? And Netflix is getting cold feet?”

“Is he even…?” She gestures. 

“I should probably ask him that. But I think so? Or at least, he’s willing to suggest that he is.” He takes a long sip to stop himself from talking. 

“Are you really okay with this?” Madeleine asks, concerned. 

“Yes! I just… I wanted someone to know, and I’d rather it’s you.”

“I’ll keep your secrets.” 

“I know.” Joey holds out his glass for another drink. 

“So what’s the plan?”

“Dinner, after our panel at ComicCon, which I am now to appear at, where we’ll be spotted by conveniently tipped off paparazzi.”

“Glamorous,” Madeleine nods. “It’s a weird business we’re in.”

“We’ve been told to be cute on instagram, so I’m going to have to figure out how to do that.” Madeleine huffs with amusement at that particular prospect. “At least Henry seems to get that, so I’m letting him take the lead on that.”

“And the break-up?”

“Press release.” Joey shrugs, “and then we’ll just return to being guys who like working together.”

“You’ve got this all figured out then,” she concludes. “How does Henry feel about it?”

“Probably not great, but we get along well enough to play up a bit of affection,” Joey muses. “I make him laugh a lot, at least on set, so there’s that.”

“A sense of humour is important in a partner,” Madeleine nods. 

“Eh, it’s three months. The whole thing is all planned out for us. It’s gonna be fine. What could go wrong, really?” Madeleine looks like she’s considering all the ways it might go wrong. He takes another sip from his wine when a realisation dawns on him. “I’ll be answering questions about his cock for the rest of my life, won’t I?” 

Madeleine looks dreamily into the middle distance for a moment. “When you find out the truth about it, please don’t stomp on my dreams, okay?”

Joey looks at her in confusion, catches on and blushes furiously. “Mads - I can’t believe you! I work with him - I can’t go thinking about his...”

“Too late,” Madeleine grins her evil grin. 

“You’re a terrible person.”

“I’ll get another bottle of wine.”

“That’s more like it. And when we’re sober you need to explain instagram to me again.” He shudders at the thought. 

_ July 2020 _

“You have all read your briefings?” Lauren asks, in full showrunner-mother hen mode. Anya, Joey and Henry nod. “So, you know they are getting a trailer, based on some of the material we’ve been shooting. It’s going to be on YouTube before the panel is over, no matter what. People will be live tweeting. This is not a space for slip ups. Keep your answers as general as you can.” They nod again. “So, group selfie to put on instagram afterwards?” 

“Sure,” Anya says. They crowd together to fit into frame. Henry puts an arm around Joey. Tonight is their first public sighting, but it might add a touch of reality if they’re seen to be touching already. Lauren takes a picture and then a crew member comes in to bring them to the wings. 

“Hello ComicCon! How do you all feel?” The crowd cheers - the presenter is really working them. “Y’all excited to hear about the next season of The Witcher?” The crowd cheers _ yeees _ . “I can’t hear you!” is met with an even louder _ YEEEES _. “Okay folks, it’s time to welcome to the stage - the showrunner Lauren Schmidt Hissrich!” Lauren walks onto the stage, waving at the cheering crowd and takes the first seat she reaches.. Joey leans over to Anya’s shoulder. “Well, they are passionate at least,” he whispers. Anya is looking a little pale. “Don’t worry, they’ll love you,” Joey whispers. “Just stick with the briefing and smile.” Anya smiles faintly at him.

From the corner of his eye, he catches Henry watching them. He winks at Henry, who looks away. 

“Please welcome - Anya Chalotra - Yennefer.” The announcer calls. The crowd cheers even louder. 

Joey nudges her. “You’ve got this.” He takes a few deep breaths to calm his own nerves as he watches Anya take her place. It’s just another part to play, he can take in the energy from the crowd and feed it back into his performance. 

“Your little lark, Jaskier, Joey Batey.” That’s his cue. He swallows, and walks on stage and waves. The room explodes in cheers. The lighting means he can’t see how many people are there - which is probably for the best. He looks for Anya and sits down next to her. She pats his hand and smiles up at him - which is met with a few whistles from the audience. Only one seat left to fill: the one on his right hand. 

“And of course, the Witcher himself, Henry Cavill!” The room explodes even more loudly as Henry walks in, smiling a thousand watt smile, and waves at the room. He must be used to these massive crowds, Joey supposes. He looks up to catch Henry’s eye and smiles at him. Henry’s face changes, goes soft for a moment and then he blinks and it’s gone. He leans back, and smiles as Henry slides a hand through his hair before he walks to his assigned place. Joey shivers. The presenter starts with the introduction and they’re off to the races. 

“Where are we going?” Joey asks. They are waiting for the car service that is going to take them to the restaurant where they are scheduled to be ‘discovered’. Phase 2 is a go. 

“Dinner, I know a place,” Henry says mysteriously. 

“You mean, we have a reservation for dinner and a photoshoot.” 

“At least you’re getting dinner out of it,” Henry points out. 

Their car arrives and they get in. Joey looks to Henry for a cue on how to behave, he is determined to make the whole experience as painless for Henry as he ca. Their driver is calm in the face of Superman, which Joey assumes is why he has the job in the first place. They arrive at the restaurant where they are shown to their seats - window seats, of course. The waiter comes to take their drink order, rattle off the specials, and leaves them be. 

“Did you enjoy your first panel?” Henry asks over his menu. 

“I’m not sure ‘enjoy’ is the right word?” Joey says. Henry nods in encouragement. “I have played crowds before, but then you can, you know, feed off their energy. Which kind of makes me sound like a vampire, but you know what I mean. Here, I couldn’t? They were radiating love, and taking in every word we said. It’s a different dynamic, I guess. Because, geez, those people are dedicated,” Joey says. “I mean, I know this is supposed to be geek central, but that was just… massive.” Henry nods. “There’s no real preparing for it, I suppose.” 

“There was a five page briefing on the things you’re not allowed to say.” Henry points out. Joey is relieved to see his dry sense of humour is undamaged by the weirdness of their life right now.

“I knew logically people had watched the show, but this was unreal. Also, I feel I can tell _ you _this,” Joey drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper: “I like that we’re making people read books.” He looks for a response in Henry’s face, to find him looking back at him. He smiles apologetically. “I guess I’m sort of old-fashioned. I’m sure you’re as delighted to have people play the game again?”

“I like the books a lot too,” Henry objects, “and the games are great. It’s good that we get to seduce people into having more fun.”

“True, true,” Joey soothes. “So, are we doing starters?”

Over dinner, Joey relaxes as Henry laughs at his attempts at jokes. After a while, he feels it is safe to do what he has been wanting to do for a while: prying.

“Okay, I’m going to just ask - are you even into guys?” Joey asks. Henry nods slowly. “How many people know?” he presses on. Henry looks up at the ceiling, clearly going down a mental list. 

“My mother probably figured it out at some point. My agent and publicist, Jason - that’s Jason Momoa. And now you.”

“So what I’m getting here is you hooked up with Jason Momoa and you got found out and the story had to be killed?”

Henry huffs a fond laugh. “No, Jason knows because I told him what we’re doing. My agent and publicist know because we had to develop ‘a brand’.”

“I can hear the air quotes around that.”

Henry shrugs. “And you?”

“Out and experienced bisexual,” Joey says with a little bravado. Is Henry… _ blushing _? “I think most of my friends know. My immediate family does.”

“How did they take it?”

Joey shrugs, “I think it was a bigger deal for me to tell them than for them to hear it. I mean…” he gestures along his body. “I don’t really try to perform heterosexuality, you know.” He looks down for a moment. “Are you considering coming out?”

Henry shrugs. “Might as well, given that I’m currently dating you. Do you reckon I should have told them?”

“Party line is you don’t owe anyone an explanation of your sexuality, but maybe the people that love you want to know anyway? You know, seeing that the dating pool is a bit bigger than previously assumed.”

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” Henry rumbles. 

Joey laughs, “something like that, yes.”

“Did you even see Jaws?”

Joey has to think back for a moment. “No, I think I got the gist of it via cultural osmosis. When was that even made? 1980s?”

“No, I think it’s even older. Would watching some old movies together make good instagram stuff? We just need to put up the posters on instagram.”

“Honestly, I think I’d enjoy that anyway - we don’t have to fake that, that sounds like a brilliant plan.” 

Joey suggests foregoing dessert and getting it over with. They wave for the waiter to bring their bill, and Henry pays. 

“Should we, I dunno, hold hands as we leave?” Joey says. “Or not, it’s just that, you know, if we’re doing the “early days bit”, we might have to up the PDA a bit. I think we should hold hands. Unless. Are you ace?”

“Am I what?”

“Some people don’t really care for sex,” Joey says and Henry raises his eyebrows in surprise, “though they tend to like affection,” Joey muses. 

Henry shakes his head. “I like sex,” he grumbles, “and affection.” 

Joey slides his hand into Henry’s. They are nice hands. Henry has unfairly nice _ everything _, really. There are photographers outside the restaurant, as promised. Henry holds the door open for him to step outside. Before they walk the path back down to the car, Henry pulls him close, still holding his hand. 

“If they say something rude, ignore it.” He whispers. “Remember, you’re just here to be seen.” 

Joey gives him a wide smile, says “yes sir” and squeezes. Henry stiffens for a moment and looks at him with the smile Joey has seen him wield at other actresses, and he has to admit: it sort of works on him too. He closes his eyes and lets his forehead rest against Henry’s before looking up. Henry’s pupils are blown wide in the comparative darkness. They ignore the shouts to get their attention standing close together, studiously avoiding the photographers as they wait for their car to show up, wrapped around each other. When the car arrives, they get in as quickly as they can, close the door, and it’s blessedly quiet as they leave the scene. 

“Are you okay?” Henry asks after a few minutes. 

“Yeah, sure,” Joey says, slightly more certain than he feels. 

“The forehead press was a nice touch,” Henry says. 

“Not too much?”

“Just right,” Henry says, looking studiously calm about the whole thing. Joey nods, satisfied he hasn’t put his friend in an awkward spot. 

“Want to have coffee at my place?” Joey offers, “so we can debrief?”

“Sure,” Henry says. He follows Joey to the hotel room next to his. 

A good hour later, Henry opens his hotel door, sits down on the edge of the bed and takes off his shoes. He checks his phone - nothing urgent. So he decides to do what he has been putting off for a while: call his mother. She finally picks up after more than a few rings. 

“Hey mum! Is this a good time?” Henry asks.

“Sure, let me just…” She turns the radio off, and Henry just knows how she now walks across the room to her seat. “Are you okay?”

“Of course! Yes. I just - I figured you should hear this from me now before the story breaks.” He shakes his head. “No, sorry. The important bit first. Uhm, so, I think I’m bisexual?” There’s a full two seconds of silence on the line. 

“Okay,” his mother says. “That’s good. You know we love you anyway, right? Wait, have you met someone?”

This might be worse, Henry thinks. “Kind of?” How is it that when he tries to talk to his family about this, he still feels like he’s thirteen and stumbling over his own feet. “I’m going to be seen to be dating my co-star.”

“Anya? She seems nice!” his mother enthuses. “But what does that have to do with…? Oh, it’s not Anya, is it?”

“Uhm, it’s Joey Batey - he plays the bard?”

“Oh. Right_ . _ You work well with him, right? He seems nice enough.” 

“Yeah, well, the important bit is we’re not _ really _dating, but the press was making a fuss about me and Freya and…”

“You’re taking one for the team, aren’t you?”

He’s not sure if his mother is complimenting him or calling him a dumbass. “Well, he more so than I am.”

“You are a catch, I’ll have you know. Anyone should be lucky to have you.” He groans a bit. “Don’t argue with me over this, you know I’m right.” He hums, unwilling to have this conversation again. Somehow, by the magic of how mothers work, she comes to the correct conclusion: “but you want to really be with him, don’t you?” she surmises, challenging him to deny it. 

“Yes,” he starts, and everything comes spilling out of him. “He’s so funny, and kind and talented and _ weird. _He makes me laugh, and he keeps throwing these great lines at me. He really keeps me on my toes. I’ve been listening to his music for months.” 

“You left him a comment on his instagram, right? Your brother told me.” His mother takes a breath that he knows means she’s going to ask a question. “Were you ever going to tell him?”

He sighs,“Yes, after the premiere of our first season. I had a whole speech prepared, and a bunch of plans for things for us to do, you know, together. But he was so stressed out, mum, I just couldn’t add another burden. He needed a friend by his side. So…” He waves his hand although she can’t see it through the phone. 

“You were a friend to him,” his mother concludes gently. “You’re a good man, Henry. He must see that.”

He hums. “Thanks for letting me ramble, mum.”

“Of course love. Are you coming by soon?”

“I’ll try.”

“It’s all I ask.”

“Give my love to dad.”

“Of course - I always do.”

With that, he hangs up and falls back on the bed.

Joey stares at his phone. “Henry Cavill posted a new picture,” the email notification read. He had clicked the link. It led to another one of the posts of Henry looking magnificent at the start of his work-out. He takes a screenshot and sends it to Madeleine. _ Help me Mads, I need advice! _

_ Use lube _, she writes back. There’s not even punctuation. 

_ I’ve been tasked with being ‘cute on instagram’, and this kinda feels like a set up? _Madeleine is typing… typing… typing. 

_So be cute!_ _Say something nice!_

_ That’s not helping. _ He writes. And then _ I’ll try. _

His fingers hover over the keyboard. He ends up writing a small comment “it’s important to keep looking good for one’s bae (did I use ‘bae’ correctly?)”, adding a blushing emoji. He closes the app and his laptop for good measure. 

_ August 2020 _

_ Good news, I’m going to call you! _ Madeleine texts, and two seconds later, his phone starts ringing. 

“Hey Mads! How are you?”

“Good - yourself?”

“Okay. So what’s the news?”

“I got the message that our tour locations are set. There’s going to be A TOUR!” 

“Wow. That’s… something.”

“We’re only starting at the end of September so you’ll have some recovery time after filming. But we’re going on tour!” 

“Do you think I could have Henry over for the London show - wait, there is going to be a London show, right?”

“Sure he can come. There’s going to be a London show, no, two I think. And a few other places. There’s a list somewhere.”

“We’re going on tour.” It’s starting to sink in. “With the whole band, right?”

“Of course!”

“There’s venues booking _ us _?” 

“Yes!”

“That… is... something. That is big. Mads - you’re not messing with me.”

“I’m not messing with you. Not about this.”

He is about to ask what she would mess with him over. “Wow. I’m going to sit down now.”

“The bad news is, you have to post about it.”

“Fine. I’m getting better at it, I think.”

“You mean you sass Henry on his thirst traps.”

“On his what now?”

“Never mind.”

They talk for a bit longer, trying to come to terms with what lies in front of them. When they hang up, Joey immediately texts Henry.

_ I’m going to tour with TAD after S2! _

The reply comes almost immediately. _ Congrats! That’s huge - how do you feel about it? _ Joey looks at the simple question. When did Henry become the first person he wants to share exciting news with? When did Henry become the person who asks exactly the right question in response? _ Proud. Terrified. The regular I guess _ . He adds, _ the good news is we’re getting paid a bit, so we can actually make it work _ . No blue ticks, which likely means Henry is back working. _ Anyway, if you’d like, you can come? It’s not SDCC, but it might be fun? _ He almost adds ‘you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but Henry writes back _ Would love to come. _ That’s settled then. He opens his laptop and opens up instagram. He uploads the picture of the tour schedule that Madeleine has sent him and tries not to overthink the caption. 

_ Hey gang, it seems that we found a few places willing to have us, so there is going to be a tour (if I survive making season 2). Links for tickets and stuff over at the official The Amazing Devil instagram. Drink something cold, and I hope to see you all in September ! JB _

There’s an alarmingly large number of notifications of messages that he is definitely not going to check. 

It’s the last day of filming, so Joey makes it back to Surrey for the wrap party. It’s always a weird get-together. There’s the cast who are relieved to be done, sad to say goodbye, and anxious if there will be another season. The producers are frantic because editing is coming up and that always means hard decisions under a tight deadline. In short, it means everyone gets drunk. He watches from the sidelines how Henry is at the center of the festivities, even as he is pulling other people in the spotlight. Joey wanders off to sit with Anya, because she’s always fun. He puts two shots of vodka in front of them.

“Thanks, just what the doctor ordered,” she smiles and downs the shot. He follows her example. 

"So, what is going on with you and Henry? Because there’s something else going on. I don't really buy that all of a sudden you're in love with him," Anya says.

"Hey!" Joey says, and then, "what gave it away?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you'd be a lot more dramatic about it."

"I'm being dramatic about it!" Joey objects, "though in the more literal sense we're pretending to date to get some idiots off his back for suggesting he's grooming Freya." 

"Ew, that is gross." Anya says with feeling. 

"What? Grooming or the suggestion?"

"Yes," Anya says with an eye roll. "So now what? You're going to pretend to be in love?"

"For about eight more weeks," Joey confirms, "and then we'll have 'an amicable break-up'. There's paperwork and everything."

"Is he even... I don't know? Not-straight?" 

"He's bi too, or so he said the other day." 

"I'd have never guessed." 

"Apparently it's part of 'the brand'." Joey says, adding air quotes for good measure. "Gods, I hope I never have to think about those things." 

"You couldn't pretend to be straight to save your life." 

"I'll drink to that!"

Anya scans the crowd. “He’s looking for you.” she says casually. Joey looks up, and catches Henry looking at him, a soft look on his face. Joey smiles back at him. “He is good at this.” Anya says. “But then, I think he’s had a soft spot for you for a while.”

“I need more vodka for this conversation.” Joey says and gets up. “You want some?” Anya nods. 

Henry catches him at the bar, slides an arm around his waist and leans over. “Enjoying the party?” he rumbles in Joey’s ear in Geralt’s register. Joey leans in, because this kind of improv game he can do. 

“Yes, but rather waiting for it to be over so we can go home,” he breathes, trailing a hand over Henry’s chest. He might be a smidge more intoxicated than he originally estimated. Henry doesn’t seem to mind though. “I’m getting Anya another shot - what are you having?”

“Tonic with lime.”

“You are a wise man.” Joey says. “Care for another one?” 

“Sure.” Henry says, and Joey flags the bartender. 

“Two shots of vodka, and a tonic with lime please.” The bartender nods and turns around to fill their order. Joey leans against Henry for a bit, enjoying the warmth that his fake boyfriend radiates, feeling like the world is tilting slightly. It’s the alcohol, he reasons. He should get some water next, but for now he is going to enjoy leaning on Henry a little and the weight of an arm around his waist. 

_ September 2020 _

Joey is lying in bed, trying to figure out if he wants to read, listen to something or write. It’s strange to be home alone after shooting for months. It’s nice to be alone for a while. But also - well, a bit lonely. 

_ Are you busy this afternoon? _Henry’s text reads. It feels like a trap. 

_ Nothing I cannot heartlessly abandon _, he replies after thinking about it a tad too long. 

_ I was planning to take Kal for a walk, and I assume you’re having post-filming blues as much as I am. Want to come with? _ Joey looks at the book and mug of tea on the table. _ You can bring your book if you like. _

He takes a deep breath. _ Sure, sounds good. _

_ I’ll pick you in about fifteen minutes - is that okay? _

_ Sure - I’ll put on trousers ;) _

He does change into slightly less ratty-looking jeans and a pullover, and puts on sturdy shoes. Knowing Henry ‘a walk’ could mean anything from a stroll through the park to a ten mile trek through the hills. He puts his book into his backpack with a bottle of water and adds the apple that he’s been meaning to eat for five days. In a moment of inspiration, he adds another book for Henry. He is pretty much set when the doorbell rings. 

“I’m coming!” he yells through the intercom, and locks the door behind him. He moves carefully down the staircase, and finds Henry standing on the pavement, leaning on his car. They hug in greeting, and Joey gets into the passenger seat. 

“Hey Kal!” Joey says, “excited to go walking, are we?” Henry gets in, his amused half-smile as he likely heard the exchange. “So where are we going?” Joey asks. 

“I was thinking Hampstead Heath.”

“Sounds good.”

Henry steers them with remarkable calm through the hell that is London traffic to the park. They pile out of the car and start a circuit Kal clearly has done before as he runs ahead of them. 

“Post shoot blues?” Joey asks. 

“Every time.” Henry says. “Being outside helps though. And, you know, being with someone.” Their shoulders brush and Joey’s stomach jolts. After about forty-five minutes, Joey spots a cafe. 

“Break time?” he suggests nodding at it. 

“Sure.” Come to think of it, Henry likely already knew it was there. They walk over and sit down at one of the tables. Kal finds the water bowl, and drinks his fill. It’s a Thursday afternoon, so it’s relatively quiet. A waitress steps outside to take their order. She seems to recognise them, but has clearly decided to be a professional. 

“I’m going to order something entirely uncool,” Joey says as if confessing. “Could I have hot chocolate, please?”

“Sure. Want whipped cream with that?”

“Might as well, thank you.”

“And for you, sir?”

“I’ll have the same, please’.” Henry says, smiling his Hollywood professional smile. 

“Of course, coming right up.” The waitress smiles at them and leaves.

“Is this where we read?” Joey asks.

“You actually brought a book?”

“I brought you one too.” Joey opens his backpack. 

“I don’t know what I expected.” Henry says. “What did you get me?”

“Atrocity Archives - it’s about… well, mathematics is basically magic and our hero starts out as a mathematician who gets drafted into the occult secret service because he did some maths that turned out to be incantations he shouldn’t have touched. It’s quite funny too. Give it fifty pages, let me know if it’s your speed.” He hands over the battered copy. Henry takes it. Their fingers almost touch. In moments like this, it is as if they are just two people, finding their way to each other, he muses. 

The moment is broken when the waitress comes back with their order. Joey opens up the advance copy of Susanna Clarke’s Piranesi that had somehow landed in his lap. They thank the waitress, and settle in to read in companionable silence. Henry’s foott gets hooked under Joey’s and Joey does not feel the need to withdraw. He is content to enjoy the sensation that the one point of contact between them brings. Nobody is there to say something about it. 

After a while, Kal wakes up from his nap and starts making noises again. 

“Hello again,” Henry says to him. “I think that’s our cue to get moving again.” He puts the book on the table. “Can I keep this one? I think I want to finish it now.”

Joey nods. “Sure. Wait, let me take a quick picture of this.” He puts their books next to each other, and moves their empty glasses around for a balanced composition. 

“Are you getting the hang of social media?” Henry teases. 

“Oh shut it. Yes.” He snaps three pictures, and picks his favourite. Deep breath. He is still a bit scared of it. He uploads the picture. 

_In this loud world, cherish the people you can be quiet with. Like @henrycavill Also: book recs! Hot chocolate: optional_, he captions it. All the way back to the car, his phone keeps buzzing. 

“Forgot your notifications?” Henry grins. 

“Maaaybe?”

“When I get back home, I’m going to make it worse,” he mock-threatens. “I’ll reply.”

As promised, Henry replies to his instagram post: _ Thank you for a wonderful afternoon - Kal says thanks for the walk _. Joey checks that his notifications are off at least four times, but watches as the number of responses keeps rising.

_ Thanks for dragging me out of the house _, Joey texts him that night.

_ Thanks for lending me your book, _the reply comes.

_ We’re a good team _. 

_ I like to think so. Good night. _

_ Good night. _

  
  


Henry enters the Windmill through the stage door and peers around, looking for Joey. It’s September so he carries a coat with him, but it’s warm out. He spots Joey in the next room sitting on the floor, his eyes closed, his back against the sofa, Madeleine running her hands through his hair. He tamps down the irrational flare of jealousy he feels. He sternly reminds himself he has no rights over Joey beyond their arrangement, and he has two more months to enjoy it as best he can. He looks away and counts down from five, to remind himself he has to return to _ pretending _to be in love on one. Unfortunately, Joey spots him before he can reach that point.

“Henry! You came!” Joey scrambles to get up to greet him, smiling widely. He finds himself smiling back. _ It doesn’t mean anything, _he tells his treacherous heart. He saunters into the room, projecting a confidence he doesn’t necessarily feel. 

“Of course I came,” Henry says, as he walks over, opening his arms to hug Joey. He is a tactile person by nature, he closes his eyes for a moment to just feel the warmth of Joey close. Joey squeezes back, so he figures they are still okay. When he releases him - too fast? - Joey takes his hand. “Let me introduce you to the crew. That’s Madeleine, Mads, this is Henry.”

“You may have mentioned him once or twice,” Madeleine grins. “Nice to meet you.” She extends her hand, and Henry shakes it. 

“Nice to meet you too. And none of it’s true,” Henry says, dimpling his most charming smile at her. 

“That’s Tom, he plays drums, that’s Robert, electric guitar, Michael, our violinist, cellist Fraser, and Sam, bass. Guys, this is Henry. He’s joining us for dinner, and then we’re going to hide this hulking mass in the wings during the show.” Henry dutifully waves at everyone, and he is greeted with a lot of curious looks between him and Joey. Joey shrugs it off. 

“Can I take a picture of us to put up on instagram?” Henry asks. 

“Sure. Together?” Joey plasters himself along Henry’s chest. He’s wearing a purple spaghetti top lined with lace, which is almost dainty and provides a wonderful contrast to his unmistakably masculine shoulders. Henry wraps an arm around Joey’s chest, trying not to notice how well they slot together, and really tries not to think about other ways he’d like to… no. He turns on the camera on his phone, and snaps a few pictures, and then lets go of Joey. He holds up the best shot to Joey: “Will this do?” They make a good pair - they are looking at each other, and just enough physical proximity to suggest there might be more. Joey nods. He posts it to instagram with the caption _ #boyfriendprivilege: I get to join the pre-show shenanigans with @theamazingdevil @joeybateyoffical @madeleinehyland So excited to hear them live _and immediately mutes his notifications. 

“Take a seat.” Joey nods at the table where the group is sitting. Michael produces two decks of cards and starts shuffling them. 

“All hands on deck?” someone suggests and it’s met with approval. Michael deals him in. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out,” Joey says, “it’s a bit like…” 

“No, that’s cheating!” Madeleine objects, picking up her cards. 

“What’s cheating?”

“Rules don’t matter and points don’t count,” Madeleine says as if that explains everything and throws up the first card. The guitarist - Robert? - picks up two cards, and everyone looks at Henry. 

“Just throw up the lowest card you’ve got, and we’ll let you know what you have to do.” Joey says. Henry plays a two of clubs, which is met with hums, and the next person plays their card. When they’ve been playing for almost an hour, Henry is still trying to figure out if the rules are just very arcane, if they are making the rules up as they go along in a sort of musical improv game, or whether they are actively messing with him. 

“You can’t do rigoletto - it’s a jack!” Joey protests as Robert starts singing.

“Ah, but I’ve altered the key!” Robert counters. Henry despairs how this game would be played if they were drinking alcohol instead of the tea and lemonade that is on the tables. Apparently, they are professional enough to avoid getting drunk before the show. 

“It’s set in F now,” Tom confirms. 

Henry has thrown all his lower denominator cards onto the pile when prompted - and he has to be prompted because even the turn taking is not intuitive. Now, he holds a queen of hearts and a jack of spades. He considers his options: the faces seem to correspond to songs, but he can’t work out what the organising principle behind the songs is. 

He plays the queen, and asks, “Now, what do I do?”

“Serenade!” three voices exclaim delighted. Everyone looks at Joey, who blushes and nods apologetically: “you have to serenade someone.”

He considers his options: absolutely not one of their own songs. He isn’t enough of a singer to pull that off. He considers a romantic pop song, but discards it. And then it hits him: the Lord of the Rings. So he sings: 

_ “Home is behind, the world ahead _

_ And there are many paths to tread _

_ Through shadow to the edge of night _

_ Until the stars are all alight _

_ Mist and shadow _

_ Cloud and shade _

_ All shall fade _

_ All shall fade.” _

“Is that really a serenade though?” Michael asks. 

“That’s from Lord of the Rings,” Joey says glassy-eyed, “I’m so attracted to you right now, I can’t even talk to you.” 

“Which means it counts - and also you two deserve each other,” Robert says. Henry presses a kiss on Joey’s cheek, which is met with wolf whistles. 

“You were off-key for a bit, but excellent emotional play,” Madeleine says. Robert throws on the next card, and they play until the game is broken up to check the lights and set up. When they’ve set up, they return to the green room for dinner. He tries to blend in quietly as the band and the crew eat dinner. They bring out their cook, who recites a poem in a language none of them understand, but is met with a raucous applause. Apparently, musicians are as superstitious as some actors. He swallows yet another bit of jealousy as Joey and Madeleine sit side by side doing each other’s make-up with practiced ease. Joey excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and Madeleine waves him over. He comes, and she taps on Joey’s seat.

“Want me to do you too?” she says. “I’m sure a bit of eyeliner wouldn’t hurt.” She tilts her head, appraising his face. “A bit of rouge, bring out those cheekbones?”

He’s not sure why - probably the sheer force of her personality, but he shrugs and nods. “Sure. Where do you want me?” 

“Right there. Close your eyes.” 

He obeys, trusting her not to make too much of a fool out of him. After all, Joey trusts her implicitly, so he trusts her by extension. He feels a stripe being painted along his lashes, and then her finger smoothing it out a little. 

“Keep them closed for a moment,” Madeleine says, and after a moment she returns and smears a little under his cheekbones. “There,” Madeleine says happily, “a good start.” She holds a mascara brush in front of him. “You don’t have to, strictly speaking, but it would be a finishing touch.” 

“Sure.” He tilts his head again so she can apply the brush.

“Ever the professional.” He hears the amusement in her voice. “There, all done.” She hands him a mirror. He looks, and tilts his head in surprise because he likes the effect. 

“That’s… good? How did you do that?”

“A bit of eyeliner to bring out the shape of your eyes. The copper shimmer makes your natural blue pop.” 

He nods, mostly because it sounds convincing and hands the mirror back. “You’ve had a lot of practice on blue eyed boys,” he says, remembering the pictures that had come out in February. Joey comes back into the dressing room. Henry turns towards him. “So does anyone want…” Joey starts. He stops mid-sentence upon seeing Henry. _ He likes it _, Henry realises. Joey swallows, recovers his composure. “Coffee or tea?” he finishes. 

“Tea,” Madeleine says. 

“I knew that.”

“Coffee, please.” Henry says. 

“Knew that too.”

“Then why are you still here?” Madeleine gently snipes at him. 

“Right.” Joey turns around again to go looking for drinks. 

One of the crew members gets him a fold up chair so he can sit in the wings as Joey and Madeleine warm up their voices, and mess around in preparation for the show. He watches as the theatre fills up with people - the atmosphere is charged with anticipation. He is delighted to spot a few people wearing references to The Witcher in the audience. Eventually, the lights dim and the band take their places. Henry settles in. He knows the new album well by now, but he also knows that there is a particular magic to a live show in front of a live audience. It’s amazing to watch Joey in his element. His voice is almost made to harmonise with Madeleine’s, and here too, as on set, Joey seems incapable of doing the same thing consistently, adding improvisations. Like himself, Madeleine seems to thrive on it. They seduce the audience into a call and response for at least ten minutes and the audience is lapping it up, singing along, laughing and cheering at the little jokes they make. They play their whole album, and the audience keeps clapping and cheering to entice them to play an encore. It doesn’t take much, and shortly, everyone is back in their seats.

“So you guys may have noticed our tour started a little later then we originally intended because someone had to fuck off to make a tv show,” Madeleine opens. Joey answers by playing the opening chords of _ Toss A Coin To Your Witcher _. “But we’re not allowed to play that song, for legal reasons,” Madeleine continues. The crowd boos good-natured, and a few people in the crowd start singing it anyway. “However, it does mean that there’s a few songs that got made during filming that haven’t made it onto the album. So, you’re getting something inspired by the Continent anyway.”

Joey cottons on to what she means, gestures at her to stop, and then pretends to resign himself. “You mean the love song?” he asks over the microphone, licking his lips. She beams at him. He turns around to the rest of the band. “Can we do that?” The drummer starts the beat - he seems ready. Joey shrugs and starts playing. It’s an innuendo-laden song with a surprisingly serious undertone of two people who seem unable to love each other the way they want to be loved. Henry tries to distract himself from the contents by focusing on Joey’s hands, but that really does not have the desired effect. He shuffles in his seat a bit to adjust himself and he reorients his focus on the rest of the band. For three minutes, he allows himself to be the one that Joey sings about. When the song is over, Joey looks over to him and winks. _ Any good? _ Henry realises he can read his expressions as easily as any written text. He puts his hand over his heart and mouth: “perfect.” Joey beams, and turns to the audience to accept their applause. 

“Good set!” Madeleine says happily, a beer in hand when they are back in the green room. 

“Great set,” Joey concurs. 

“Biggest venue ever!”

“Biggest venue yet.” Joey says. 

“Your man in the wings really appreciated his song,” she grins. 

“I can’t believe you made me do that!” Joey hisses. “Also, I’ll have you know, I wrote that months ago.”

“But it fits so well!” 

Joey groans. “He’s really not mine though.”

“Oh he is. Look at him.” Joey peers over her shoulder so see Henry pulling his _ polite conversation _face as he is being talked to by a man Joey doesn’t recognise. “Someone should rescue him,” Madeleine says with emphasis. 

“Why don’t you go rescue him if you like him so much.” It comes out even more childish than he meant it to sound. 

Madeleine looks at him. “Do you want me to?” she asks carefully. “Because I would. For you.”

Joey swallows down a jolt of jealousy at that image, and files that away for later consideration. “I’ll go.” He goes to the bar and picks up an extra beer and saunters over to his… something. He wraps an arm around Henry’s waist, presses a kiss on his cheek, nuzzles a bit for good measure and asks, “So how was it?”

“There was definitely filling in that pie,” Henry grins. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Joey grumbles. 

“Aren’t you two the cutest?” the unidentified stranger says. 

“Yes, we are,” Joey says, his voice laced with syrup, “have been for months. Are you joining me, dear?” he says to Henry. 

When they are out of earshot, Joey asks, “What did he want?”

“Not sure,” Henry says, “he was still in the rambling phase. It’s fine, I can handle that.”

“I know, I know. It’s just…” _ I want to see you happy _, he thinks and he finds himself surprised by it. He shrugs. “Beer?”

“Please.”

_ Have you told him? _ Jason texts, _ because it looks like you did, but I’m not buying it _

_ I’m going to. Just. Eventually. _ He writes back. _ I can’t spook him right now! Not while he’s doing me a massive favour! _

_ He doesn’t strike me as easy to spook. _

_ October 2020: an end in sight _

Joey walks in from the kitchen holding two mugs. He has carved out a space for himself in Henry’s house. It feels incredibly right to have him here, making their drinks. But this is a business meeting. 

“Here’s your coffee.” Joey says, and sits down next to Henry holding a mug of tea. “So what are we hoping for?” 

“The videos to be taken down, and some speculation as to our sex life?” Henry takes a small sip from his coffee, and then a longer one - clearly Joey has figured out how he likes it best. It makes something in his stomach flutter. 

Joey nods. “Thanks for stocking up on proper tea, by the way.” Henry shrugs, as if it’s not a big deal. “Are you still reading The Atrocity Archives?” Joey asks when he spots his book on the armrest of one of the two chairs. 

“Yes! Thanks for lending it to me - I think you’ll be getting it back next week or so.”

“Should I dig up The Jennifer Morgue next? It’s a James Bond pastiche and it’s fantastic.”

“I think I’ll just buy a copy, but thanks,” Henry replies. He checks his watch, “what time are they calling again?” Which of course is when his phone starts ringing. 

“It’s Henry, you’re on speaker. Joey is here too.”

“Hi there!” Joey says. 

“Good morning, glad you could all make it. How are you holding up?” Dani asks. 

Henry looks over at Joey, who shrugs. “We’re okay, I think?”

“Great. So. Congratulations,” Henry’s publicist starts, “it seems to be working. With your public appearances and a few well-aimed cease-and desist letters, I think we managed to quash the “grooming Freya” story. I estimate that in a good six weeks, we can end the whole operation.” 

“What are the numbers?” Henry asks, every inch a professional. 

“The video with the weird supercut of you and Freya and all its mirrors are down. We have a rambling apology email - I can forward it if you like?” 

Henry shakes his head. “Nah. Long term prognosis?”

“Hard to say. The younger generation is generally more open to…” 

“Queers?” Joey suggests. Henry shoots him a look. Joey shrugs. 

“Yes. But it’s unsure how it will affect any future offers you might get. On the bright side, counterintuitively it seems to have somewhat widened your appeal among women, so there’s that. Your instagram...”

Henry nods, “I know. We’ll see how it goes. Fingers crossed we’re going to make season three then.”

“Joey, is there anything you want to know? Or anything you need from us now?”

“I don’t think so. Six more weeks, you say?”

“Give or take. Keep up the work on insta, and I don’t think we’ll even have to send any more picture hounds to restaurants.”

“Be cute on instagram, got it.”

“Yes but be careful: the internet does not forget and screen shots are forever.”

“No dicks on instagram, and no being dicks on instagram. Just wholesome cuteness. Understood,” Joey says. Henry looks fondly at him. 

“The ‘boyfriend privilege’ thing seems to go over well, so maybe do some more of those?”

Henry hums thoughtfully, “I’ll see if I can come up with anything.”

“Sure. Okay, if there’s nothing else?”

“I’m good,” Henry says. 

“Me too. Thanks,” Joey chimes in. Dani hangs up. They look at each other. “So can I stay and read before we go to dinner?”

“Of course,” Henry says, “boyfriend privilege.” He makes it sound like a joke, an in-joke between friends. Professionally, he is proud of the accomplishment, if only it didn’t hurt. 

Joey gets his backpack and gets out his copy of First Among Sequels. He makes himself comfortable in one of the big comfy chairs. Henry sits down next to him, reading The Atrocity Archive, Kal curled up at their feet. After a bit, Joey puts back the book and takes out his notebook and starts scribbling. He looks up, and catches Joey watching him. He raises an eyebrow and nods at the notebook, but Joey shakes his head and looks down again. It’s the worst kind of best, the quiet sharing of space, Henry thinks. It’s exactly what he always wanted and he reminds himself again that this is not what they have. 

It’s been weeks he’s been trying to be better at ‘managing his socials’ and Joey still hates it. He has to call Madeleine for tech support while she’s sick and that is not the kind of friend he wants to be. 

“Okay, so I have the app open. Now it wants to know the password. Is it linked to our gmail account?” 

“Yes, use the gmail to log in.” Madeleine coughs, and dictates the password to The Amazing Devil instagram account. 

“I’m in.”

“You’ve missed your calling as a hacker.” Madeleine deadpans. 

“I’ve always wanted to say that. Now, drink your tea and take a nap. You need to get better.”

He loads the picture Madeleine sent him earlier of a mug of tea and a mountain of tissues, and adds their apology for not coming to Birmingham, a promise to return later and instructions for a refund. Out of curiosity, he looks at the messages people have been sending in. 

_ You don’t need to reply or anything, I just want you to know that seeing Joey and Henry together gave me the courage to tell my friends I’m bi _ , reads one. _ Thank you for being out there _, another one reads. There’s a lot of them. Lodged between the marriage proposals, and slightly raunchier suggestions that still make him blush, there are other messages. Personal ones. Most of them grateful, some of them rather raunchy, and some really wild speculation about his fake sex life and suddenly Joey feels incredibly guilty. For all that he is legitimately falling for Henry, he knows that their relationship is essentially a PR stunt - and one that is coming to an end. It never occurred to him that their performance would affect people, real people. And mostly positively. It would be nice if it were - you know - true. Will he at some point owe them an explanation? He logs off and pours himself a glass of whiskey. 

It’s cold out and it’s raining, and Henry holds the door for him, and Joey steps inside. The manager clearly recognises them as Henry helps him out of his coat and hands it over, and then shrugs off his own. Watching Henry move with his casual masculine grace is always a sight to behold. The manager brings them to their table, where they are presented with the menu. The manager asks Joey what he’d like to drink, and Joey requests the house red. He notices that Henry is not asked the same question. A few minutes later, a waitress appears with a glass of red and a pint of Henry’s favourite beer. They toast.

“I’m going to miss this,” Joey says, “you are a very good fake boyfriend.” Henry looks at his plate, uncharacteristically quiet. “You know that you dodge questions about relationships?”

“Yes.” Henry smirks and looks at him, challenging to ask. 

“It’s a little frustrating. I like you a lot, and you can tell me things, okay?” 

“I know - and your friendship is important to me. I really wanted you to know from the start that we’d agree to be friends when this whole nonsense is over. Which means we don’t have to stop spending time together. And as I recall, I was promised a D&D campaign.”

Joey huffs. “We _ are _friends. It’s just… do you even want a partner?” Henry tilts his head, clearly considering how to answer. “Is it that you want a particular one?” Joey probes. Henry stiffens - confirming Joey’s suspicion that there is someone out there. “Man or woman?”

“I fail to see how that’s relevant.”

“True, you’re pretty much universally considered unfairly attractive.” Henry rolls his eyes. “And that’s not even the best thing about you,” Joey presses on. “I just… want you to be happy, okay?”

“It’s complicated.” Henry swallows visibly, as if he is swallowing words. “But I am happy with where we are, okay? You’re here, I’m here. Really there is nothing to be worried about.” 

Joey frowns, considering possible answers: it could be that Henry knows it to be unrequited - though Joey is pretty sure Henry could charm the socks, pants, and whatever else off of anyone he met. But perhaps if they already had a partner? 

“Can we drop this?” Henry asks plaintively. 

“Okay, well. You know, if you ever decide you need someone to ghostwrite a love declaration, let me know.” That at least brings out a ghost of a smile on Henry’s lips, and Joey decides to call it a win. “It has been an honour to be publicly known as your boytoy for a while,” he adds. “You’re a great partner, anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

Joey puts his hand on Henry’s, because for now he gets to do that, and really soaks up the fluttery feeling caused by Henry huffing another laugh. He is only a little mad someone is not making this beautiful man happy. 

“So people keep telling me, yet here we are.” 

“Weird how people never tell me that,” Joey faux-grumbles. 

“Maybe nobody wonders?” Henry teases gently. 

“I am a damn delight,” Joey says. 

Henry grins and raises an eyebrow, “you’re a menace,” he says. 

“Ah, see, _ you _like me. There’s hope for me yet,” Joey says cheerfully. Henry looks away, and they are saved because the waiter comes to take their order.

“So how is life as a rock star?” Henry asks. 

“Oh you know, hard.” Joey waves a hand dramatically. “Roaring crowds demanding encores, paparazzi everywhere.” Henry laughs. “No, seriously, it’s great. The tour is selling out, the crowds are amazing. Our agent is looking for an alternative date for the Birmingham gig.”

“How is Madeleine?”

“Better. It’s just the flu, but that’s still…”

“Sick.”

“Hey, so, I’ve been meaning to ask. Do you get, uhm, comments on, you know, social media. About us?” 

“A lot,” Henry confirms.

“Nice ones?”

“Mostly yes. Why? Are you considering actually _ using _ instagram?”

“Maybe,” Joey hedges. “I had to announce we weren’t doing Birmingham, and I read some of the comments.”

“Oh that’s rule number one: don’t read the comments!”

“No, they were… nice. People seem to feel better because of us.” Henry nods. “I had no idea that would be such a big deal.” Henry looks at him. It’s in moments like this, under the weight of Henry’s full attention Joey wants it to be real. 

“Are you still okay with it?” Henry asks. Because of course that is his primary worry. 

“I feel a bit weird,” Joey admits. “I mean, neither of us lying about our sexuality, so there’s that. It’s just.” Henry nods. “I mean, look at you! Dating someone like me is like a whole other level of fairy tale.” 

“That’s not true,” Henry says. “You’re amazing - you’re a great actor with a fantastic range, a talented singer and composer with two albums to his name and a sold out tour. I’m hardly slumming it here!”

They are once again interrupted by the waiter, who brings them the soup. 

“Thanks.” Joey says when the waiter has left them. “It’s going to take some time to sink in though. My life has changed so much over the last eighteen months.” 

“If we’d spend another six months together, I’d end up as the guy that dated the singer for a while.” Henry grins. “It’s a weird business,” he admits. “And as you said, we’re not lying about ourselves individually, we’re stretching the truth about what is between us.”

“You know what’s also weird?” Joey barrels on. “People say you’re gay now. It’s like they don’t believe in bisexuals.”

“We’re not Tinkerbell - we exist whether or not people believe in us,” Henry says, rolling his eyes.

“You can’t just… say stuff like that to me. I’m so attracted to you right now, I can’t even tell you.” 

Henry looks intently at him, as if he’s working out how to take this. Joey studiously focuses on his soup. He is not ready for this conversation. 

_ November 2020 _

London is preparing for Christmas. Henry soaks it up - London is beautiful at Christmas, the trouble is she knows it. He spent the better part of the week weighing whether to tell Joey the truth, and if so, how to do it. In a way, the reception of their fake relationship has been calmer than he expected. Over the last week, their publicists worked on their statement that they have quietly ended their relationship, and they are resolved to be good friends and coworkers. Which means it is time to play double or nothing: tell Joey how he feels and accept whatever Joey will give him. He has resolved to put his cards on the table at least twelve times without actually following through. He has to do it now. If Joey tells him they are in fact better as friends, he is booking a ticket to Hawaii. So now he is making himself cover the last few feet up to Joey’s flat. He can see the lights are on from the outside. He takes a centering breath and crosses the street. His hand trembles a little as he presses the bell. 

“Who is it?” comes Joey’s voice staticky over the intercom.

“It’s me - uhm, Henry.”

“Hey, come on up,” Joey sounds warmer now.

He tries to take the steep stairs two at a time - he is only slightly out of breath when he arrives at Joey’s floor. Joey is already in the door opening. He’s obviously not been out of the house yet: he’s wearing pajama trousers and a washed out shirt, that gives a tantalising hint of collar bone. 

“Come on in,” Joey says, stepping aside to let him in. “Coffee? Tea?” he asks from the kitchenette. Henry hangs his coat on one of the empty pegs.

“Coffee, please.” 

“I don’t know why I keep asking,” Joey grins. 

He follows Joey into the living room, where Joey is filling an espresso pot. He waits until the pot is on the stove and Joey turns around.

“So what brings you here today?” Joey asks, “did I forget something important?” He looks down at his pajama trousers, “that requires me being in public? This is where you stop me from rambling,” Joey suggests. 

It should be easy. It is not - it is terrifying. 

“So, here’s the thing.” _ Why is his mouth dry _? “I may have told you a bit, that I’m… I’m not great at relationships. Romantic ones. With you - I feel more like myself with you.” 

Joey looks confused, and Henry can feel his ears go red. If he doesn’t get these words out now, he might never get them out. 

“Friendship is fine - no, it’s great. I like being friends with you. But before we have our quote-unquote break up - I just want to say. You can have me. If you want. As your boyfriend. I don’t think we’re better as just friends,” Henry stammers, the blush spreading to his cheeks. “I mean, it’s okay if you want to be just friends. Just, I’d like you to be my first, my first boyfriend. For real, not just for show. I mean, in public too, if you’re okay with that. But for real, that’s the important bit.” He looks at Joey helplessly, “this is where you stop me from rambling…” 

He sees Joey crossing the room but he can’t process what it means. He is entirely unprepared for Joey crowding him in and leaning over. 

“Can I kiss you?” Joey asks. 

Henry kisses him instead. It is dizzying, kissing him as slowly as he dares, almost scared that if he moves too fast, the illusion might break. He is scared to look, but he feels Joey’s hand cupping his face, his quick tongue darting over his lips, gently asking for permission. He opens his lips, allowing him in. Jarringly, Joey lets go of him suddenly. Henry opens his eyes and suddenly realises that the coffee maker is gurgling on the stove. 

“Sorry about that.” Joey looks a bit sheepish over his shoulder. He takes a cup from the overhead cupboard and pours in the coffee. He looks at the coffee and then back over his shoulder. “Do you still want that?”

“Coffee can wait. I can’t.” He stalks over, wraps his arms around Joey and kisses him with everything he has. 

  
  


_ Epilogue - December 2020 _

Premiere night means absolutely over the top service. They spend the afternoon getting dressed. There had been an intense process of negotiations over every single detail of their outfits. They were supposed to match, but not too obviously. And then there’s the difference in style between them - Henry is much more of a traditionalist than Joey. They set their respective stylists on it a good four weeks beforehand. One thing they had not budged on is they were arriving on premiere night together. In the backseat of the ridiculous car that is bringing them to the venue Henry squeezes Joey’s hand. His boyfriend is only slightly better at crowds than he was a year ago. “Ready?” he asks.

“Not even remotely, but that’s no matter. I can do this.” Joey seems to be trying to convince himself more than anyone. 

He slides a finger under Joey’s chin. “It’s okay. You did a great job. I know, because I was there.” Joey looks down. “They already love you. And if they don’t, I do.” 

It slips out so naturally that it’s only after Joey’s shocked look that he realises what he just said. He shrugs helplessly - it’s out now, and there’s no pretending Joey didn’t hear. Joey leans in to kiss him, slowly. When he lets go, Joey breathes, “Good. I love you too.”

Henry looks at him in wonder, scrambling for words to cover what he feels, but he is interrupted by their driver who offers more practical concerns. 

“Gentlemen? We’re arriving in a few minutes - so if you need a breather, you need to take it now.” 

“We could just book it right back to the hotel,” Joey suggests.

“If I’m going to offer sexual favours on par with how long you hold out - would that work?”

“Nah, you’re pretty much a sure thing,” Joey teases.

Henry grins. “Worth a shot.”

“Okay, you’re up next,” their driver announces. 

“Thank you.” Henry schools his features into professional mode. The door is opened, and a wall of noise floods in. He gets out of the car, and then helps Joey out. 

“You still good?” he asks. Joey nods. “Here we go.” And with that he waves at the people that have gathered to see the stars of their favourite show. “I’m going to do some signing, you want to come with?” 

Joey takes a deep breath and nods. They walk over to the people to shake hands and sign a bunch of autographs. The pictures and drawings and notes become a bit of a blur. He looks up to see Joey leaning over the boarding to fit into a selfie. Along the red carpet is a veritable jungle of microphone setups. The Witcher’s publicity coordinator is clearly trying to catch his eye. He nods at the cameras. She nods eagerly. He grabs Joey’s hand. “Sorry people, I’m taking this one with me.” Predictably, this is met with a few catcalls. “I intend to.” he says to one of them with a wink. “Darling, are you coming?”

“Duty calls,” Joey waves apologetically. “Thank you all so much for coming out here tonight. It means the world to us.”

They walk over to the press jungle. Deep breath. He’s done this so often he feels like he can do it in his sleep, only this time there’s one major difference. 

“I am joined by the show’s leading man Henry Cavill, and his co-star and partner Joey Batey. Gentlemen, congratulations on season 2.” The first interview starts. 

“Thanks,” they echo politely.

“Was making this season different for you two compared to the first? Professionally and personally?”

“It was great to come back to the world, for sure.” Henry says. “The first season was really about getting to the jumping off point for the rest of the story. So now we’re excited to share the next leg of the trip. On a more personal level, it wasn’t much different compared to the first season.” Henry says casually. “I’d been in love with him well over a year before he gave me a chance.”

“I took pity on him, really.” Joey says sardonically. Henry stifles a laugh, and Joey looks at him with a satisfied grin. “But he’s really pulling his weight, I have to say. Which, you know…” He looks Henry up and down. “He can lift a lot, as you might imagine.”

He leaves Joey to move onto the next microphone. “So, care to comment on your relationship with Joey Batey?”

“I’ve always wanted to be arm candy to a rockstar,” he says deadpan.

“Have you had any negative experiences?”

“No, we’re ridiculously happy, and very proud of the work we did on this second season…” He looks over at Joey, who looks at him. Joey smiles. They’ve got this.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [on tumblr](https://hedwig-dordt.tumblr.com/) too, and if you enjoyed the story consider reblogging [the link](https://hedwig-dordt.tumblr.com/post/612057069720420352/love-me-true-archive-of-our-own)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I will say yes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23878369) by [Hedwig_Dordt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hedwig_Dordt/pseuds/Hedwig_Dordt)


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